Ovid and Weirdness

Ovid was a strange one, he seems to purposely challenge the contemporary values and morals at the time. He was constantly pushing the envelope to see what exactly he could get away with. He was basically the South Park of his time.
If Ovid was around today we would probably be a big fan of South Park and the American Pie movies. The American Pie series was just a set of movies where they were saying, "Ok let's see exactly how disgusting this movie can be and if we get away with it, then we're gonna keep making them."
Of course I think Ovid was banished for his racy writings. I guess Augustus Caesar wasn't ready for South Park. No wonder the Roman Empire fell they just weren't ready for South Park.

Another enormous shield

In the Aeneid, just like in the Iliad. One of our characters is given a shield in which a Stephen King novel could be written on it. These guys must have been pretty strong to carry these things. Achilles shield was so big and had so much stuff written on it that it took three pages to read about and half through it I forgot what I was reading about.
Aeneas' shield however was a little different it had the future on it, whoa pretty cool. It talked about the future of Rome and what the weather was going to be like and what color his kids eyes were gonna be and how well the harvest would be in the sixth autumn following an election year----ENOUGH!! I want to see this shield and if I ever get my hands on it I'm going straight to the Antique Road Show.
Also, why can't someone just have one name or reference. The trojans were Ilians or Dardans and I spend more time reading footnotes than anything. I was just talking about this to my friend Darren. 1

1. His name is Actually John Darren we just call him Darren. He's an old friend from school. He works for the fire department.

There how does it feel.

Medea, clever or is everyone else just dumb?

Over and over in the play we are constantly hearing that Medea is clever, her cleverness is her most distinct attribute. There are some parts that it doesn't seem that she is so clever rather than other people are just dummies.
After she had decided that she was going to kill everybody, she runs into an old friend, Aegius, and in just a few moments together this guy has already agreed to put her up no questions asked. Is this guy and idiot? Only moments before she pretty much told him that eventually a bunch of ticked off people are going to be looking for her, probably because of something she did and this boob agrees to it. That wouldn't fly today.
If I went up to one of my buddies and said,
"Hey bill, I kinda need a favor."
"Sure pal anything."
"I need to stay at your place for a while."
"No problem, what a couple of days or so?"
"More like for ever and if the Cops come looking for me, I need you to hide me and tell them I'm not here and if the FBI and swat teams come I need you to tell them to get lost. Whaddya say? -- Bill....Bill...Hey where ya goin'?"
I guess I'm just not very clever.

What good is a soothsayer anyway?

There seems to be a recurring theme any time a sooth sayer is used in literature. The person who usually calls on the seer never listens to them, and that is something you can bet on. In the Iliad, Agamemnon got all mad at the soothsayer because it wasn't in his favor, what a baby. Oedipus didn't listen because it was all just too weird.
But this isn't the first time that this has happened. Even in the movies this happens. In the original Friday the 13th, starring a young Kevin Bacon, the kids were on their way to Crystal Lake. Before they reached the camp, an old man met them on the path. He was a modern version of a soothsayer perhaps he was an old maintenence man or something. He started yelling at them not to go to Crystal Lake because they will all be killed if they do. Well because the guy was old and probably insane the kids brushed off his guidance and continued to the camp.
A soothsayer is used in alot of newer movies and books. They don't proclaim to be a soothsayer but the character's main purpose is to tell the future and warn the protagonist. One thing is for certain however, you can be sure that the characters will not listen to him.

Even in heaven your wife nags

The thing that caught my eye the most reading The Iliad is no matter who you are, man or god, your wife will still nag and complain. For instance, Zeus was having a private conversation with Thetis about Achilles and it was none of Hera's business. However, the longer Zeus talked to Thetis the more uncomfortable he became, he said "I can just hear her now, cursing me and bawling me out." Well, the inevitable happened and yes Zeus' wife found out about this little talk and Zeus was right on the mark.
Hera stomped right up to Zeus and said, "Who was that you were just scheming with just now? You just love devising secret plots behind my back, dont you? You can't bear to tell me what you're thinking...you never have and never will." Is this his wife or mine?
Well after about 10 minutes of this griping Zeus, like every husband, was about to lose it and had to go off. "Sit down and shut up and do as I say. You see these hands? All the gods on Olympus won't be able to help you if I lay them on you." Wow, you would have to be a God to say something like that. If I said that to my wife, I'll probably go to jail.
Hera did quiet down after that, but what the poem doesn't say is that after about 2 days of the cold shoulder, Zeus brought some flowers said that he was wrong and she was right, he said he was sorry, and they both went to Chili's for some southwestern egg rolls and a few margaritas at happy hour. And all is right with the Gods.

The greatest song of all times.

After reading song of songs, i realized that all these love songs on the radio are just dribble. In song of songs, each compares each other to a cornicopia of fresh fruit, rare spices, and natural landscapes and phenomena. These days we have "if you liked than you shoulda put a ring on it," WOW song of songs indeed but Kanye still thought it was good. Perhaps someone should send him a copy of Song of Songs.
Making an actual song out ouf song of songs would be literally impossible. First of all, it would be wayyyy too long. Yes, I know pink floyd's "shine on you crazy diamond" is 23 minutes long but come on. Also, who would be able to come up with a rhyme to frankincence, that just makes no sense, hey wait a minute I may have something there.
It did get a little racy, at the end there he described her body as a palm tree and her breasts as clusters of grapes. Is he talking about Kate Moss or what.
Then they talk about going on vacation to a vineyard and watch the fruit ripen and then do some drugs, mandrakes, and light some insence and have a good time. Please save some for the honeymoon.
In all seriousness, it is a great poem and whomever could receive such inspiration to create such intense metaphoric comparison has obviously felt true love.

Oh my God all those Gods

One thing that became painfully obvious reading Ancient Egyptian literature is wow these guys had a lot of Gods. There was a God for everything, probably because it was the easiest way to explain things that go wrong. It's kind of the equivalent of an only child who blames everything on his imaginary friend. Who broke that lamp? ....ummmm, Zeus....?
There was Hapy who was the God of the annual flood of the nile. Wow a god that only works once a year, I want that job. And Dumuzi god of vegetation, fertility, growth, and decay so basically whatever happens to your crops whether good or bad we all know who gets the credit or blame (hint, it rhymes with Isuzu).
Could you imagine if we had that many Gods today, it would be hilarious. Well I overslept today because Magnavox, the God of alarm clocks put it on pm istead of am (i hate it when he does that). Then I got a flat on the way to work because, PETA, the god of animal worship caused me to swerve to miss a squirrel and I ran off the road. I couldn't call roadside assistance becuase Nokia, the God of Cellphone batteries allowed my phone to go dead.
I'm an hour late to work I had to explain to my boss that it was the Gods' fault and my boss understood. He's got a lot on his plate right now. He's a little down because, Prenup, the god of messy divorces, is raining fire and brimstone on his life. Whew! That was a close one, thank you Gods.