The thing that caught my eye the most reading The Iliad is no matter who you are, man or god, your wife will still nag and complain. For instance, Zeus was having a private conversation with Thetis about Achilles and it was none of Hera's business. However, the longer Zeus talked to Thetis the more uncomfortable he became, he said "I can just hear her now, cursing me and bawling me out." Well, the inevitable happened and yes Zeus' wife found out about this little talk and Zeus was right on the mark.
Hera stomped right up to Zeus and said, "Who was that you were just scheming with just now? You just love devising secret plots behind my back, dont you? You can't bear to tell me what you're thinking...you never have and never will." Is this his wife or mine?
Well after about 10 minutes of this griping Zeus, like every husband, was about to lose it and had to go off. "Sit down and shut up and do as I say. You see these hands? All the gods on Olympus won't be able to help you if I lay them on you." Wow, you would have to be a God to say something like that. If I said that to my wife, I'll probably go to jail.
Hera did quiet down after that, but what the poem doesn't say is that after about 2 days of the cold shoulder, Zeus brought some flowers said that he was wrong and she was right, he said he was sorry, and they both went to Chili's for some southwestern egg rolls and a few margaritas at happy hour. And all is right with the Gods.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The greatest song of all times.
After reading song of songs, i realized that all these love songs on the radio are just dribble. In song of songs, each compares each other to a cornicopia of fresh fruit, rare spices, and natural landscapes and phenomena. These days we have "if you liked than you shoulda put a ring on it," WOW song of songs indeed but Kanye still thought it was good. Perhaps someone should send him a copy of Song of Songs.
Making an actual song out ouf song of songs would be literally impossible. First of all, it would be wayyyy too long. Yes, I know pink floyd's "shine on you crazy diamond" is 23 minutes long but come on. Also, who would be able to come up with a rhyme to frankincence, that just makes no sense, hey wait a minute I may have something there.
It did get a little racy, at the end there he described her body as a palm tree and her breasts as clusters of grapes. Is he talking about Kate Moss or what.
Then they talk about going on vacation to a vineyard and watch the fruit ripen and then do some drugs, mandrakes, and light some insence and have a good time. Please save some for the honeymoon.
In all seriousness, it is a great poem and whomever could receive such inspiration to create such intense metaphoric comparison has obviously felt true love.
Making an actual song out ouf song of songs would be literally impossible. First of all, it would be wayyyy too long. Yes, I know pink floyd's "shine on you crazy diamond" is 23 minutes long but come on. Also, who would be able to come up with a rhyme to frankincence, that just makes no sense, hey wait a minute I may have something there.
It did get a little racy, at the end there he described her body as a palm tree and her breasts as clusters of grapes. Is he talking about Kate Moss or what.
Then they talk about going on vacation to a vineyard and watch the fruit ripen and then do some drugs, mandrakes, and light some insence and have a good time. Please save some for the honeymoon.
In all seriousness, it is a great poem and whomever could receive such inspiration to create such intense metaphoric comparison has obviously felt true love.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Oh my God all those Gods
One thing that became painfully obvious reading Ancient Egyptian literature is wow these guys had a lot of Gods. There was a God for everything, probably because it was the easiest way to explain things that go wrong. It's kind of the equivalent of an only child who blames everything on his imaginary friend. Who broke that lamp? ....ummmm, Zeus....?
There was Hapy who was the God of the annual flood of the nile. Wow a god that only works once a year, I want that job. And Dumuzi god of vegetation, fertility, growth, and decay so basically whatever happens to your crops whether good or bad we all know who gets the credit or blame (hint, it rhymes with Isuzu).
Could you imagine if we had that many Gods today, it would be hilarious. Well I overslept today because Magnavox, the God of alarm clocks put it on pm istead of am (i hate it when he does that). Then I got a flat on the way to work because, PETA, the god of animal worship caused me to swerve to miss a squirrel and I ran off the road. I couldn't call roadside assistance becuase Nokia, the God of Cellphone batteries allowed my phone to go dead.
I'm an hour late to work I had to explain to my boss that it was the Gods' fault and my boss understood. He's got a lot on his plate right now. He's a little down because, Prenup, the god of messy divorces, is raining fire and brimstone on his life. Whew! That was a close one, thank you Gods.
There was Hapy who was the God of the annual flood of the nile. Wow a god that only works once a year, I want that job. And Dumuzi god of vegetation, fertility, growth, and decay so basically whatever happens to your crops whether good or bad we all know who gets the credit or blame (hint, it rhymes with Isuzu).
Could you imagine if we had that many Gods today, it would be hilarious. Well I overslept today because Magnavox, the God of alarm clocks put it on pm istead of am (i hate it when he does that). Then I got a flat on the way to work because, PETA, the god of animal worship caused me to swerve to miss a squirrel and I ran off the road. I couldn't call roadside assistance becuase Nokia, the God of Cellphone batteries allowed my phone to go dead.
I'm an hour late to work I had to explain to my boss that it was the Gods' fault and my boss understood. He's got a lot on his plate right now. He's a little down because, Prenup, the god of messy divorces, is raining fire and brimstone on his life. Whew! That was a close one, thank you Gods.
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